printed version of http://powdermonster.net/amusing/txt/amusing.php?show=7
Confucius
Confucius say...Man who keep feet firmly on ground have troubleputting on pants.
Confucius say...If you want pretty nurse, you got to be patient.
Confucius say...Passionate kiss, like spider web, lead to undoing of fly.
Confucius say...Better to be pissed off than pissed on.
Confucius say...He who walk through airport door sideways going to Bangkok.
Confucius say...Boy who go to sleep with stiff problem wake up with solution in hand.
Confucius say...Man with hole in pocket feel cocky all day long.
Confucius say...Couple on 7 day honeymoon make whole week.
Confucius say...Girl who sit on jockeys lap get hot tip.
Confucius say...Girl who sit on Judge's lap get honourable discharge.
Confucius say...Lady who go camping must beware of evil intent.
Confucius say...Man who stand on street corner with hands in pockets,not feeling crazy, feeling nuts.
Confucius say...Squirrel who runs up woman's leg not find nuts.
Confucius say...Rape impossible. Woman run faster with skirt up, than Man with pants down.
Confucius say...He who runs behind bus gets exhausted.
Confucius say...Man who leap off cliff, jumps to conclusion.
Confucius say...Man who make love on side of hill, is not on level.
Confucius say...Man with tight trousers is pressing his luck.