Ali G's tips on meeting your girlfriend's parents
Greetingz
It iz important to make a very good impression.
How is your appearance?
Make sure u has no dirt on your cloves and none of deir daughter's pubes in your teef.
When u first meet de muther be charmin and pay her a gentle compliment
e.g.
'allo cheeky' and den squeeze her batty [gently].
It is a social 'no-no' to let de index finger slip into de crack area.
Next say to ya girlfriend while pointing to da mum
'I didn't know U had an hextremely younger, model sista'.
De mum will probably say sumfin like 'wot a charmin compliment but I am actually her mutha'.
U should immediately look surprized and say 'no fucking way - u iz sooo fit.
Now me can see where your daughter got her babylonz from.'
Den add:
'If I woz really mashed I would probaly bone u'.
Meeting da dad
Now u iz won da mother over, try and impress da dad by showin him Wot lovely times u iz had wiv his daughter.
Pull out a photo of de 2 of u together, and den say:
'Dat's me and dat's your daughter. As u can see from our faces dis is our favourite position'.
Da meal
Offa to elp wiv da meal. 2 make de afternoon go more smoovley add A few erbs of your own to de Sunday roast, aiii.
Remember off course to always compliment da food.
A perfect line wood be:
'dis desert tastes as sweet as your daughter's punani'.
Dis way u iz givin a double compliment innit.
It iz not only important to be interested, u should also be interestin.
Farewelz
When u leave be careful how u answer de final question.
If de dad says:
'It has been a pleasure meeting you - my daughter is a lucky girl and I hope that one day you will settle down with her'.
U should answer:
'Me can't promis u dat, but me give u me word dat I will bone her til me real bitch come back from holiday'.
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